Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
