I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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