I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
