This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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