i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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