I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
