we're blogging at a bar
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize