Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
