How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
