i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize