omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize