32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
