I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
