i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i dont even know how to be here
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
