so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
