Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
