Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Don't make out with my wife yet
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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