Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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