Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
