Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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