Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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