I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
