good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
