i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize