it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
that's an acceptable place to lick
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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