I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
