i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
