And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
