We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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