oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize