No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
