i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
