i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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