I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
