Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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