What did we do last night that was yellow?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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