Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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