I love black thongs
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize