My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
