I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
