You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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