Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
