i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I will pee on everything he values.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
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