The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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