Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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