when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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