God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
