I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
