At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
