He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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