what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
