We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
