I skipped work to stalk him.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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