Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize