you mean i was at the winter classic?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
