walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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