I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm at about main and main street
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
