If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
