Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
