btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
